Title: I'll Remember You ~Lost Memories~
Author: Nana ( megu575)
Pairing: KoyaPi [duh>.>], MasuTego, Akame [slight], friendship!KoyaShige, friendship!Pin, maybe future NishiKato.
Rating: PG-13 (for now..)
Genere: romance, agnst. (as I said, it'll get less agnsty and more romantic soon >.>;; or maybe both >.>;;)
Summary: Yamapi wakes up in the hospital.(this summery sucks X"D just read on >.>;; its better then it soundsX"""D)
“He overworked himself, and has he been on a diet or something recently?” Asked the doctor “You…can say so.” Jin knew the reason for Yamapi fainting like this was the fact he haven’t eaten, or drank or slept for the last 24 hours. But he also knew he wouldn’t like the doctors to know it.
“Doctor,” It was Keiichiro’s voice from the other bed “Yes?”
“Will…will he be alright?” He was blushing slightly, his expression worried.
“Of course he will. But there is also a motional cause here, so…don’t get him too upset or mad, it’s not good for his health now more then usual.” The doctor added, looking especially at Jin. He left the room.
“Ne,” Whispered Keiichiro, he knew he was never well, too close to Jin but…he had to ask somebody and nobody seemed to be wanting to answer“He overworked himself, and has he been on "Hm?"
“Can you…tell me…about him?” Keiichiro murmured, voice shaking, Jin looked at him for a moment, then sighed.
“You really don’t remember, do you?” Keiichiro’s eyes filled with tears as he shook his head “Every time I try to remember…I get the worst headache I’ve ever had but…last time, right before the two of you came in…I…I saw his face…and he was smiling…I don’t know who was he to me but…for some reason I feel he’s special…but…I’m hurting him right? The fact I can’t remember him…it hurts him, right?”
“It does. I can’t lie. But you can’t force yourself to remember Koyama, if you hurt yourself he would kill himself, I know this.” Jin couldn’t help but smile, as Keiichiro looked at the bed to his right, eyes filled worries.
“You guys will be alright.” He simply said, not bothering to reply to the other’s questioning look.
“I have to go now, or I’ll really get fired,” Jin added as he looked at his watch “Okay…I…could you tell everybody I miss them?”
“Sure, take care. I’ll come later to see what’s up with this jerk here,” And with this, Jin left the room, leaving Keiichiro and Yamapi alone.
“Yamapi…hey…Pi…can you hear me?” Yamapi could clearly hear that familiar voice calling him from somewhere above him.
“Pi…I miss you…”
“Keii…where are you?” He opened his eyes, trying to find the source of that voice in the darkness “I’m here Pi…can’t you see me? I’m right here…”
“Keii…are you a ghost?”
“Why can’t you see me Pi?! I’m here!!!” It wasn’t Keiichiro…it couldn’t be. Yamapi felt somebody gripping his neck, tight, painful.
“Who are you? Why are you calling me Keii?” It was Keiichiro’s voice, but it wasn’t him.
Yamapi woke up with a small scream, he was all sweating, trying to catch his breath, he realized he was connected to medical machines. Looking to his left, he saw Keiichiro, looking at him, worried.
“A-are you alright…?” He asked “Yeah…” Murmured Yamapi, voice and breath still uneven
“Bad dream.” He added in reply to the other’s worried expression.
“What time is it now?”
“Probably midnight…you passed out earlier…they said you’ll have to stay here for awhile until they make sure you’re 100% alright.”
There were few moments, which seemed to last forever, of awkward silence.
“I’m sorry.” Keiichiro was looking down “I…I really…really want to remember you…and I know I’m hurting you…I don’t want to do it…I know you were special to me…but every time I try to remember…I feel sick…and I’m afraid…I’m afraid I won’t be able to remember…I believe I lost my most precious memories…. and I want them back…”
“Keii…” Yamapi’s free, left arm, extended towards the other man, willing to reach him, he felt horrible, he didn’t want it…he was the one who should be sorry, he hurt Keiichiro so many times before…and even though Keiichiro himself can’t remember it, Yamapi does, and it hurts even more.
He is slightly surprised when Keiichiro’s right hand’s fingers touch his own, and he feels flying butterflies in his chest as the other catch’s his hand and lock their fingers together.
“Even if I don’t remember…I can still feel it…” He whispered with a slight smile, as if he was talking to himself “I can feel that…weird…warmth in my heart…”
“Let’s just…let it stay like this…just for now…it’s the closest we can get…” And Yamapi could only nod and look at him, the other closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling holding Yamapi’s hand gave him. That warmth, excitement, happiness, all in one and even though he didn’t know why was he feeling this way towards that man, he didn’t want it to end. He wished they could just hold hands like this forever. And as he kept thinking of it, his mind blurred.
“Pi, let’s go home…it’s too cold here!” giggled Keiichiro, shaking slightly as the wind blew against his hair “But I want you to see something…”
“Pi…come on…” But Yamapi only caught his hand and crossed their fingers “Here…” with his other arm he hugged him and grabbed his body closer to his own.
Suddenly it started snowing.
“Look…” He whispered, “It’s snowing…” Keiichiro completed him
“What do you think?”
Yamapi placed a small kiss to his cheek “I love you, Keii…”
Keiichiro blushed and smiled softly “I love you too…” he leaned his head on the other’s shoulder, feeling secure in the warmth of the other.
Keiichiro opened his eyes, what was it just now? He wondered. Maybe…a memory? But his head started hurting again and he decided to let it be this time, because the other man still held his hand, and he smiled softly before letting himself fall asleep.
“I wonder if they’re alright…” Murmured Tegoshi as Massu closed the door behind them “Yeah…” Sighed the elder man as his cellphone started ringing, telling him he got a text message.
Bakanishi called and told me Pi’s in the hospital too, he passed out. The doctors said it due to not eating and loosing water, also emotional state. Shige said I should tell you guys.
“What? What’s wrong?” Asked Tegoshi, worried “It was Ryo, apparently Yamapi is in the hospital too now, he passed out.”
“He haven’t eaten or drunk anything for the past 24 hours, so…yeah.”
“I think you should stop jumping around when you’re dancing…”
“What if you fall and forget me?! I…I…” Tegoshi seemed to be on the edge of tears, Massu softly smiled at him, grabbing the younger into a warm embrace “I won’t fall and forget you…” He whispered “Really?”
Tegoshi buried his face in the other’s shirt “I love you…” He blushed slightly “I love you too.” Massu smiled, slight blush spreading on his face as well.
“Pi… I’m sorry…I love you.” Yamapi woke up and jumped, it was a dream…again.
But really…what if Keiichiro didn’t say it back then? What if he didn’t like him? What if they never kissed? And never watched the summer’s fireworks together? What if they never shared the same bed when it was too late to go home after spending time together?
He couldn’t imagine his life without this. But he knew all this couldn’t be anymore. Because Keiichiro doesn’t know he said this. Keiichiro doesn’t remember all these small but giant things they did together, he didn’t even remember when they promised, that no matter what happens, they will always be there for each other.
The reality was to painful to face. Yamapi closed his eyes again, hoping to fall asleep and then wake up and find out everything is just one bad dream. But deep inside, he knew it wasn’t, and he looked to his left as he felt that familiar warmth in his hand, they were still holding hands from the night, he wondered how comes they didn’t get separated while sleeping.
Keiichiro’s face were peaceful, and he remembered the mornings, when they were sleeping together, he liked waking up in the early morning, look at this sleeping, peaceful face and fall back to sleep after placing a small kiss to the other’s cheek or just caressing his hair softly, never waking him up.
“Why…can’t…we be a couple…?” Keiichiro talked in his sleep, did he remember in his sleep? But it hurts again. Yamapi remembered they never were an official couple, and he knew it was painful for the other. He was now mad at himself for not thinking of the other’s feelings. What was wrong with him few days ago? A tear rolled down Keiichiro’s sleeping face and Yamapi felt a sharp pain somewhere inside his chest. He wanted to whip it, he wanted to kiss that cheek and tell him they can be a couple, and whisper how much he loves him, but he knew he couldn’t. Once Keiichiro wakes up, he wouldn’t remember anything of it, even if he remembered in his dreams. Yamapi knew it. And it hurts even more.
comments are love~<333
****Edited the typo errors I found but if anyone finds something please do tell X"D and once I get my hands on internet again I'll change it o-o I'm on a family vacation at the dead sea (israel) right now, so I probably won't be able to post more until the weekend. sorry '^^